they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
