Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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