It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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