Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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