We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
