All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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