I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
