Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
