I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
