You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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