I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
