Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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