If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ladies don't puke and tell
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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