i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
