I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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