he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
