I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
handjob tips. give me some.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't deserve a penis
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
