We're like a lot better than the average bears
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
