I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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