hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
