I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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