if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I CAN MOONWALK!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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