I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
