this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
