Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
