You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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