he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
