Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
