it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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