Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
