I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize