Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
