yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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