she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
