hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
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