Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Houston, we have a blender
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize