And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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