We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
