the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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