Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
