i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Farmville is her only friend.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
