my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
