I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
