I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
