just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
