Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
