If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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