I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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