I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize