Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
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