I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
