I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
