So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
