I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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