i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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