I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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