I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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