I heard we made out
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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