So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
