I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
