69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
