One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
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Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
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He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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