just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
