no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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