He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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